If Francis Magalona (may he rest in PEACE) didn’t die last week.. I could have blogged about the wonderful things that happened to me last Friday. But he died and it left me a sudden feeling of emptiness in the deepest pit of my heart. There was an abrupt sadness that enveloped me for the last two days. Worst, I spent the weekend listening to his songs endlessly.. for some weird reason his death had a great impact on me. So young.. so talented.. so tragic.
I could have stayed feeling like this until the end of the week but in a sudden turn of events, I collided with him this morning. And in an unexpected kind of way, I felt a lot better.
I’d like to think that he fancies me… well for someone who was never formally introduced.. I was very shocked when he called out my name and said HI, in a professional as a matter of factly tone. That was last Friday and I told you, I could have blogged about it if Francis had a very successful chemo session. Not that I’m pointing fingers to anyone but I sure want him to be alive and well when this thing happened. And not that I am acting like a close relative or friend of some sort.. I just think that I’d feel better if he didn’t die. I could have lingered the thought of being noticed by someone hot and I’d feel good abou it only if… someone didn’t die. I kinda feel guilty to celebrate when everyone feels sad. Yeah, call it neurotic.. I kinda think it’s mental.
Fuck it. Something happened today. I’m probably saying this to boost my ego but Marge and I have this really weird theory that he go out to smoke when he sees me leaving my post and going down the smoking area. There are things that happened today and we kinda think.. its somehow true.
I read the lines above and please we’re done talking about Francis M. I didn’t colide with him because if that happens, I’d be blogging in some dirty hospital, my mum battling with my HMO insurance over the phone. HIM is another guy.. just some random guy you frequently see in the office to whom you never really give a shit until you wake up one day and you come into this god forbidden realization that you think he’s somewhat HOT. Its like growing a pimple overnight, you didn’t know where you got the bastard.. you were just ironically infected. And you try to get rid off the damn thing but he just keeps on growing and growing… swarming with nano bacterias every second. You try to prick it out of your face but it stings like hell. I kinda feel weird with my analogy but you get the point.
Anyway, I saw him lurking in the hallway this morning and he opened the door for me. I said HEY and he HEY-ed back and I felt that I can just stand in the corner strangling myself because I failed miserably to act cool and all. I was not prepared.. and I feel like I’m in junior high again. You know… that feeling of jumping butterflies in your stomach and I kinda imagined they were dancing hand in hand… preparing for a group sommersault and shouting..”YOU CAN DO IT, KELLIE. WE’RE INSIDE YOU.. WE SUPPORT YOU. GIRLPOWEEEEEEER”. If I can predict the future every two hours of my life, I could have seen this coming.. but I don’t really want to be in that situation where in you know what’s going to happen in the next few seconds or I’ll be living in some pool being watched by Colin Farell and Tom Cruise in that sci-fi movie Minority Report.. plus I really like my hair. Thank God, I’m not some cloned gifted bald girl who can see the future and whose soaked vagina stayed forever unchartered until the end of the movie, so.. let’s just scratch that idea. I guess I’m better off just being me.
If I only knew that our fate will cross today, I could have worn my favorite perfume or at least put on a deodorant. Its not like I stink but I’d be more confident, mind you. Plus, through time I realized that I usually perspire in there when some hot guy I like is within the radar. I could have taken a very deep breath to fake a tummy tuck… I’ll hold it till the last breath.. beyond suffocation. Seriously.
I haven’t been formally introduced to this guy and yet he has so much power over me. ..
Well anyways… I’d like to think I’m bored. In that way things will not be complicated.
God knows what I’ll do the next time I see him. I hope this time it’s far from acting like a complete idiot.
I hope the next time… things will go smoothly.
I hope there’s no next time..