There are times when I wish I can undo the things I have done wishing that at some twisted parallel universe I can go back to it all and do the right things hoping things will get better…
But when reality sinks in, everyone knows we only get one shot each time.
It’s creepy why I feel this way, why at this point of time I only feel regret. It’s eating me, really. I didn’t do anything at all and at some point I was happy about it, at some point I made it clear that I was happily living my life and I didn’t care. I know I’m not making any sense but I guess when regret disorients you, things just get blurry and you don’t know what’s what anymore.
I guess I was too stupid to feed on your compliments and empty words. I made myself believe that no matter what, you will be there to catch me as you never fail to lit up my world on my darkest time. It took a while for the doors to close, for the last piece to finally fall to its place. I know in the deepest pit of your heart, I am still special and I don’t know what’s the logic of thinking about it now that you’re gone….
Reality snatched you away from me. I only wish for things to get better.
-excerpt from the LOST TIDINGS, Kellie Macaraeg 1997-1999