Archive for November, 2011

Walang taong nabubuhaysa mundo na gustong mamatay ng maaga – naisip ko habang pinagmamasdan ang kawalan sa loob ng higanteng MRI machine.

Hindi ako matatakutin na tao, mahilig lang akong manakot. Pero ang totoo, sa loob ng 45 minuto na inilagi ko sa loob ng higanteng makinang iyon, nilamon ako ng takot. Naisip kong sa bawat sandaling naramdaman kong marami ang nagmamahal sa akin- sa bandang huli, ang lahat tayo ay mamamatay ng mag-isa. Tangena lang di ba? Kaya kung ang goal mo ay magkaroon ng lalakeng magpapadama sa yo ng TRUE LOVE, mag hunos dili ka. Maghanap ng lalakeng sasamahan ka hanggang sa libingan. Yung tipong buhay pa sya tapos ikaw patay na.. tapos babantayan ka nya hanggang sa ma-agnas ka ng maigi. Yan… yan ang true love.

Balik tayo sa akin at sa higanteng MRI machine.

Hulaan nyo ang susunod na mangyayari…

Sympre pa, nagkita na naman kami.  Itago na lang naten sya sa pangalang MAN IN THE SKY aka MITS

MITS: (nakatayo sa ulap) Hello Engs,we meet again.

Kel: Jusko naman, Lord. Nag effort ka talaga eh. Kelangan talaga ipasok ako sa loob ng MRI para magkita tayo? Pede naman idaan na lang sa panaginip di ba?

MITS: (Nag-isip) Honga. Pero yaan mo na.. andito na tayo eh at saka nag seizure ka na.

Kel: Is my time up? Kukunin mo na ba ko?

MITS: (tumaas ang kilay) Tanga. Baket naman kita kukunin? Mabaet ka ba? Hala ka baka kinukuha ka na nung nasa baba.man

Kel: Baket sya? Wala naman akong ginawang masama.

MITS: (nagtaka) Wala??wala?? Weh! Meron kaya andami dami.

Kel: Sige nga ano? ano?

MITS: Talaga? Sabihin ko dito? Andaming nagbabasa ng blog mo.. ano game?

Kel: sige next time na lang.

MITS: Ikaw na ang duwag, hahahhha. Nang agaw ka ng jowa ng bestfriend mo eh. Sama mo.

Kel: Haller!! Hindi raw naging sila kahit kelan ever!!

MITS: Sige ikaw na ang Diyos dito.

Kel: Nag sex ba sila?

MITS: Ang tanong… nag sex ba kayo kahit alam mo na nagsex na sila… Diyos ako wag kang sinungaling.

Kel: Past is past. Bygones be bygones. I’m sure hindi naman ako mapupunta sa impyerno dahil dyan.

MITS: Hay bobo ka gurl. Anong sabi sa ten commandments? Huwag mong ipopoy kung may pomopopoy ng iba.

Kel: Haller! Para sa mag asawa lang yan.. hindi sila mag asawa.

MITS: dahil Diyos ako.. applicable na yan sa lahat.

Kel: Sige kahit sa langgam… sige applicable.

MITS: At dahil dyan mag si-seizure ka ulet after 5 years.

Kel: Wow.. powertrip

MITS: Wag kang nagyayabang porket may boypren kang kamukha ni Mike He. Hindi lahat ng KPOP ay cool.

Kel: Hindi KPOP si Mike He dahil chinese sya.

MITS: Sige CPOP.

Kel: Ewan ko sa yo, Lord. Ang gulo mo

MITS: Sorry naman. Si Jay Park lang kasi ang kilala ko sa KPOP eh…saka.. 2NE1.

Kel: wow.

MITS: Steg no? Pero may nakita ako one time.. cool din sila.. Super Junior ata yun.

Kel: Ayoko sa kanila masyado silang marami.

MITS: Oo.. sila kasi yung mga batang nakidnap nung mga kampon ni Puma Ley-Ar sa Shaider, genetically engineered yan para kumanta ng Mr Simple..Simple.

Kel and MITS: Hahahahahahhahahahaha

MITS: Tanga wag kang tatawa tawa kasi pag nagka anak ka kamukha nung isa dun malamang. Sayang, kung nakatuluyan mo yung isang ex mo na kamukha ni Gerald Anderson eh di.. pang artista sana ang mga supling nyo. Yihiii… AKOOO BUDOOOY.
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Kel and MITS: Hahahahahahhahaa.

MITS: (sumeryoso) Masaya ka ba anak?

Kel: Oo. Tinatanong mo ba yan dahil malapit na ang oras ko?

MITS: Hindi, tinatanong ko yan dahil baka sakali lang matuto kang magpahalaga sa kaligayahan mo at sa kaligayahan ng iba.

Kel: Wow, deep.

MITS: Ang buhay kagaya ng kandilang nauupos..kapag nahipan ng hangin mabilis natutunaw. Kaya kung ako sa yo.. enjoy every moment. Wag mong pabayaang lamunin ang oras mo ng mga bagay na hindi importante.

Kel: Kagaya ng ano?

MITS: Kagaya ng laptop, iphones, blackberry at kung ano ano pa.

Kel: At KPOP?

MITS: (napaisip) hindi. FUN talaga sila.

Kel: Whatever.

MITS: Duh.

Kel: Wala ka bang ibang words of wisdom pa dyan?

MITS: Sympre marami. Pero since ikaw lang ang kausap ko, nevermind na lang.

Kel: Pwede ba akong magtanong?

MITS: Isa lang….

Kel: Kelan ba ako ikakasal?

MITS: Naje jebs ako..

Kel: Naman… kelan?

……..

“Miss, tapos na. Sabihin na lang ng neurologist mo yung result mamaya…”

Talaga, Lord??? Talagang walang sagot???

Unfair.

Hmpf.

Today marks the first year of my last entry in Facebook after I deactivated my account.

Today marks the first day of FREEDOM. I found out from our common friends that you have changed your status from SINGLE to IN A RELATIONSHIP. For a brief moment, my heart stopped as I listen to “hear says” feeling an unexplainable pinch of puzzling loneliness.

It was nothing dramatic like comparing myself to the new girl- asking questions like jealous girlfriends do. I am, after all, feeling happy that you are able to let go of your last piece to happiness – your last piece, whatever it is that holds me to you. For the last year, even when I have fallen for someone else, I have been praying that happiness finds its way to you. Here’s my first and last message after the long sabatical silence of where I stand:

I am no longer standing on the same ground. I have accepted that things didn’t work out because we have based our relationship in FATE rather than reality. I had to learn that lesson real hard- I had to lose you to gain someone imperfect but real. I had been looking for answers for the longest time, why there was emptiness even when we were  together, why there was discontent even when you gave your all, I had found out in tme long after you were gone that we didn’t work out because we didn’t stop believing in true love but we stopped trying to make it TRUE.  Sometimes life has to be creative to lead you to the right way;it just really need to sting. Thank you for the 10 years of love, happiness and all the emotions in between. It was one hell of a roller coaster ride. I know at some point- I am bound to dedicate one entry of my blog for you. Thank you for everything, we had a pretty good run. Thank you for letting me go because it was never easier for me to be happy when I know that you are hurting. Thank you for giving love another shot and for believing that somehow when I left you all  alone, one person is destined to pick you up to love you more than I ever did. And if in the end, things still don’t work out, live life and love stronger.After all, life is too short to live it in maybe’s and what if’s.

As the song goes…

Every new beginnings come from some other beginning’s end..

Cheers.