Today marks the first year of my last entry in Facebook after I deactivated my account.
Today marks the first day of FREEDOM. I found out from our common friends that you have changed your status from SINGLE to IN A RELATIONSHIP. For a brief moment, my heart stopped as I listen to “hear says” feeling an unexplainable pinch of puzzling loneliness.
It was nothing dramatic like comparing myself to the new girl- asking questions like jealous girlfriends do. I am, after all, feeling happy that you are able to let go of your last piece to happiness – your last piece, whatever it is that holds me to you. For the last year, even when I have fallen for someone else, I have been praying that happiness finds its way to you. Here’s my first and last message after the long sabatical silence of where I stand:
I am no longer standing on the same ground. I have accepted that things didn’t work out because we have based our relationship in FATE rather than reality. I had to learn that lesson real hard- I had to lose you to gain someone imperfect but real. I had been looking for answers for the longest time, why there was emptiness even when we were together, why there was discontent even when you gave your all, I had found out in tme long after you were gone that we didn’t work out because we didn’t stop believing in true love but we stopped trying to make it TRUE. Sometimes life has to be creative to lead you to the right way;it just really need to sting. Thank you for the 10 years of love, happiness and all the emotions in between. It was one hell of a roller coaster ride. I know at some point- I am bound to dedicate one entry of my blog for you. Thank you for everything, we had a pretty good run. Thank you for letting me go because it was never easier for me to be happy when I know that you are hurting. Thank you for giving love another shot and for believing that somehow when I left you all alone, one person is destined to pick you up to love you more than I ever did. And if in the end, things still don’t work out, live life and love stronger.After all, life is too short to live it in maybe’s and what if’s.
As the song goes…
Every new beginnings come from some other beginning’s end..