Archive for the ‘Dramatic Exits’ Category

Today marks the first year of my last entry in Facebook after I deactivated my account.

Today marks the first day of FREEDOM. I found out from our common friends that you have changed your status from SINGLE to IN A RELATIONSHIP. For a brief moment, my heart stopped as I listen to “hear says” feeling an unexplainable pinch of puzzling loneliness.

It was nothing dramatic like comparing myself to the new girl- asking questions like jealous girlfriends do. I am, after all, feeling happy that you are able to let go of your last piece to happiness – your last piece, whatever it is that holds me to you. For the last year, even when I have fallen for someone else, I have been praying that happiness finds its way to you. Here’s my first and last message after the long sabatical silence of where I stand:

I am no longer standing on the same ground. I have accepted that things didn’t work out because we have based our relationship in FATE rather than reality. I had to learn that lesson real hard- I had to lose you to gain someone imperfect but real. I had been looking for answers for the longest time, why there was emptiness even when we were  together, why there was discontent even when you gave your all, I had found out in tme long after you were gone that we didn’t work out because we didn’t stop believing in true love but we stopped trying to make it TRUE.  Sometimes life has to be creative to lead you to the right way;it just really need to sting. Thank you for the 10 years of love, happiness and all the emotions in between. It was one hell of a roller coaster ride. I know at some point- I am bound to dedicate one entry of my blog for you. Thank you for everything, we had a pretty good run. Thank you for letting me go because it was never easier for me to be happy when I know that you are hurting. Thank you for giving love another shot and for believing that somehow when I left you all  alone, one person is destined to pick you up to love you more than I ever did. And if in the end, things still don’t work out, live life and love stronger.After all, life is too short to live it in maybe’s and what if’s.

As the song goes…

Every new beginnings come from some other beginning’s end..

Cheers.

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Posted: March 5, 2011 in bitch fit, Dramatic Exits

X: Tsong alam mo ba yung kaaway mo sabi sa ‘yo feeling maganda ka raw?

K: (hithit ng yosi) Eh ano naman? Naputulan ba sya ng kuryente nung nagfeeling ako na maganda ako ? Kanya kanyang trip yan. Eh di sya na maganda sabihin mo sa kanya. Siya lang. Ina nya.

X: Grabe, nabasa ko lang sa FB eh.

K: Eh leche ka, pano mo naman nalaman na ako yun?

X: Eh ikaw lang naman feeling maganda rito eh.. saka ikaw lang kaaway nya.

K: Eh di ok.  I wish her happiness, love, prosperity and eventually death. Pakisabi na lang na deactivated yung FB ko kaya mapapagod lang sya kasi hindi ko yun mababasa.

X: Eh kaya nga sinasabi ko sa yo. Laughtrip kasi eh.. ikaw pa inaaaway nya eh wala ka namang pakiramdam. Mapapagod lang sila. Kaya daw kasi sila magkakaibigan kasi pare-parehas daw silang laitera.

K: Eh di ok, meron silang something in common. Eh ano naman ngayon sa ken? Hihinto ba ang oras? Hindi ba magugunaw ang mundo? Mababaog ba ako pag hindi ako nag-react?

X: Eh kasi panay ang comment nung mga friends nya rin dun.. pinipintasan ka.

K: Eh baka totoo naman yung sinasabi nila. Ok lang yun sa ‘ken. Hindi naman panlalait yun.. nagsasabi lang sila ng totoo. Parang ako lang. Pabayaan mo lang sila. Basta ba mapapaiyak nila ako eh kung titirahin nila ako ng personal, at least may napala sila. Eh ang kaso.. matakot na lang sila pag binalikan ko sila.

X: Sabi kasi dun ni – – – maitim daw ang budhi mo kaya pumapanget ang hitsura mo.

K: Ok lang.. kasi pag naging kulay blue sya kamukha nya yung bingot na leading lady ni Jake Sully sa Avatar. (hithit ng yosi, sabay modulate ng boses ni Neytiri..) You’re like a baby!!

X: Hahahahhaha.. gago ka.

K: Ina nya.

X: Eh sabi ni ano.. WITCH ka daw.

K: Ok.. sya na ang mabait. Kamukha nya yung kambal ni DORA sa KIMI-DORA, tanga sya.

X: Eh puppeteer ka daw sabi nung isa.

K: Eh di bongga. Pero kung kukuha ako ng puppet.. hindi ko sya kukunin dahil hindi sya character. .. HALF MOON SYA. PROPS SYA SA BACKGROUND. o kaya mangga sa basket.

X: Tawang tawa nga si – – – – eh. Ni-like nya yung comment.

K: Eh mabuti naman at may iba syang pinagtatawanan maliban sa sarili nya. Hindi ako naaasar sa kanya kasi kung naging kulay yellow sya.. pwede na syang kambal ni Pikachu.

X: Eh balik tayo sa feeling maganda ka raw?

K: Ito lang ang masasabi ko.. at least hindi ako iniiwan ng lalake. Hindi ako home wrecker.. hindi ako pumapatol sa may sabit at ako ang nang iiwan sa mga lalake. Mas ok na feeling maganda ako kesa sa feeling single. Wala akong responsibilidad, pwede akong mag-party hanggang kelan ko gusto at hindi ko kailangan i-post ang mga pictures ko sa FB to get attention.. para ano? Para patunayan na may asim pa ako?

…Na kahit iniwan ako ng lalake eh kaya ko pang maghanap ng iba? Kahit anong mangyari, hindi ako nagka asawa.. hindi ako nalaspag. hindi ako pinagsawaan.. hindi ako tira tira… kaya siguro feeling maganda ako. I can feel whatever I want to feel.. but never PATHETIC because when everything has been said and done.. it all boils down to.. what you are at the end of the day. They can judge all they want but I will never give them the satisfaction of knowing the real person in me. Because they are not worth my time. Nasasaktan nga yung ego ko pag pinapatulan ko sila eh. Kasi sa totoo lang… hanggang status lang sila sa FB. All talk and no confrontation..

Kaya please lang..

Tell them to move on..

Because I will never change..

Life is too short to spend it on hating me.. mapapagod lang sila.

As the year ends.. and the start of the new year unfolds, I would like to go the extra mile re-capping all the shit (the good and the bad and the not so good) memories of 2010.

Part I: Lesson Learned

  • Anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.. suffering leads to the dark side, we all know who coined that. You cannot take control of people’s emotions- no matter how hard you try. At all times, one must not expect even the obvious. Expectations falling down your feet breed all sort of angst. Therefore, if you cannot control others, try to control yourself. Tangena nyong lahat na tsismosa kayo…you guys.. BURN IN HELL! DIE GOSSIP GIRL! DIE!!
  • Relationships are not measured by the quantity of time that you spend with someone but the quality of moments that you enjoyed together.It is not always late to end up a long term relationship when you reached the point when one fails to grow in love. People fall out of love, it’s a no brainer. It’s not a question of what have you done, it is the understanding behind the logic why both of you failed and stopped trying.
  • What-if’s are for sissies. I have learned that in search of finding true happiness and contentment, sometimes you need to loosen up a  little bit and let the walls crumble before you. People are always down with the destination fever that they fail to enjoy the journey.

Part II: Thanksgiving

  • SOYA. You pick me up when things are pretty bad, you are the epitome of a shoulder to cry on and everything else in between. 🙂
  • Pop- Cap. Plants VS. Zombies never fails to waste my time when boredom gets into me.
  • Real friends. There’s nothing like PADI’S POINT at the hilltop when things blow up in proportion and you want to trash talk your other friends and never get accounted for.
  • Gossipers. Sometimes when I’m bored, I think about the rumor mongering activities that you spend in a day and contemplate on the nasty things that you guys always tell my boss. In these times, I find my challenges and opportunities to improve on and always exceed expectations. You guys make me shine all the time. Thank you for all the time, effort and hard work of destroying me, keep up the good work and try harder. You guys will always be.. my greatest fans. INA NYONG LAHAT!

And that being said.. thank you 2010. We had a pretty good run.

Hello 2011! Umayos ka.